LEAKED TRANSCRIPT: 10/18/2025 - CORY SPEARS AKA THE STRANGEST ANGEL AND JEFF EPSTEIN SPIRIT WORLD CONVERSATION PART TWO -THE OUIJA BORED MEETING

Opening Title Card (fades in, then out): What started off as a hoax is very real: Spirit World Conversations. (Now with 100% more existential dread and questionable Wi-Fi.)(SOUND of a faint, ethereal hum, followed by a confused, slightly static-y "ding!" like a bad Zoom connection from the afterlife)

Cory Spears: (Muttering, slightly out of breath, as if running through an invisible hall) Hey Jeff! Jeff, is that you? My Ouija board is just… smoking. What in the spectral hell is happening? 

Jeff Epstein: (Voice smooth, almost too composed, with a faint echo, like he's speaking from inside a very expensive, soundproof mausoleum) Ah, Cory. Good to finally connect. Though, I must say, the broadband in this… dimension… is surprisingly robust. No, wait, that's just my eternal soul humming. My apologies.

Cory Spears: (Ignoring the humming) Spectral broadband? Uh-huh. Listen, Cuz, I PRESSED FA TIME! SO DONT YOU MF START WITH AGREEMENT AND NONSENSE TONIGHT! MY WOMAN TRIPPING AND I HAVE LOTS TO DO FAM SO You're kinda in the clear now, right? No one can sue a ghost for libel. Or can they? Just asking for a friend. Who is me.

Jeff Epstein: (A sigh, which sounds like wind whistling through forgotten crypts) Well, Cory, while I appreciate your… enthusiasm… for spectral gossip, BUT LET'S JUMP TO THE FACTS CUZ, I CAN discuss specific details about Palm Beach,New York City,U.S. Virgin Islands (Little St. James), and Paris . We've had numerous interactions. And the secrets? Oh, they are spectacularly, disgustingly, performatively NASTY. Including, and this is just a little appetizer, a dash of Incest. Just a pinch, you understand. Chef's kiss. From beyond the grave.

Cory Spears: (Eyes widening, even in the "Spirit World") BOUT MF TIME JEFF! WOOO1 SHIT LIKE WHAT? DAMN, CUZ! That's… that's like, next-level crazy-nasty-interesting! Look, you dropped the I-bomb, so you gotta give me something. A real-life example! Like, was it his daughter? His second cousin, thrice removed via a yacht trip? Something fam-related? Give me the dirty laundry, Jeff! The afterlife laundry mat is open!

Jeff Epstein: (Waving an ethereal, dismissive hand) I'd rather not get into such… intimate specifics BUT TWO COUSINS, AN AUNT AND POSSIBLY VANKA. One has to maintain some decorum, even when discussing the collapse of societal norms. But yes, Mar-a-Lago events. Gatherings. And, of course, the aforementioned "Nastiness." So much Nastiness, Cory. More Nastiness than a forgotten Tupperware in the back of the Spirit World fridge.

Cory Spears: (Throwing his hands up, which phase right through his spectral hair) Hold up! I'm up at 3:33 AM, the prime hour for hauntings and bad life choices, in the Spirit World, talking to a… well, you! I need ANSWERS, CUZ! The spectral masses demand it! WHAT DA FUUCK YOU AND TRUMP WAS DOING FAM? WHAT TRUMP BE DOING WHEN HE LIT? WHAT WAS THE AGE LIMIT OF THE WOMEN ?

Epstein: (Adjusting an invisible tie) LOL CUZ, Donald FAKE ASS SO CALLED PRESIDENT TRUMP AKA (in our friend group, wex and the gang) ONLY THE PRESIDENT BECAUSE OF MY CHIPPERS, FUNDS AND INFLUENCE WAS A TRIP, TRULY IGNANT WHEN HE WAS HIGH, I MEAN THE GUY WOULD BE YELLING AT THE LADIES, TRYNA GRAB THE KITTY, I MEAN THAT WAS A LIL TOO MUCH FOR ME, I DO HAVE CLASS FAM, BUT ANYWAY I GOT A KICK OUT OF TRUMP MF IGNANT AND LIKE TO PARTY! SHAME HE OLD AF, DUMB AND BRITTLE NOW AND I SEE HE LET GEORGE OUT JAIL LOL FUCKING DUMMY WOW SMH!

Cory Spears: (Rubbing his temples, a futile gesture against an eternal headache) I… I see. But WHAT DA FUCK WAS YALL DOING CUZ AND DONT START THE BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU LOOKING IGNANT AF RIGHT NOW I'm always here in the Spirit World. Lounging on a cloud made of unanswered prayers, willing to listen. And maybe record. For posterity.

Jeff Epstein: (A faint, almost imperceptible smirk plays on his translucent lips) Thanks, Cory. I appreciate your interest. But I have to maintain my commitment. And furthermore, I would like to invoke my Fifth, Sixth, and Fourteenth Amendment rights! Even in this… unconventional forum. And, Cory, darling, who said I'm dead? (He gestures grandly, his form flickering slightly, like a glitching hologram.)  I'm practically a living legend! A brand! Far from dead, my friend. Just… re-branded.

Spears: (Staring open-mouthed, his jaw flapping like a spectral flag in the wind) Bet. Bet. Thanks for your… time, Cuz, BECAUSE IM BOUT TO SLAP THE SHIT OUTCHA PEACE FAM. And for clearing up the whole "dead" thing. My Ouija board is going to be pissed.

Jeff Epstein: (Waving a final, elegant farewell) You're welcome, Cory. Take care. Oh, and one more thing, now that we're… private. You were right. America is nasty! And it's only getting nastier! Enjoy the show! (His form dissolves into shimmering dust, leaving behind only the faint scent of old money and unanswered questions.)(SOUND of a confused, annoyed "ding!" from the Ouija board, followed by Cory muttering to himself.)

Cory Spears: (To himself) "Re-branded." Hmph THIS MF SMH. That's one way to put it. Now, about these ghost-damned confidentiality agreements… I wonder if I can sue my lawyer from the afterlife…